John Oliver warns Americans on Trump’s much worse second term with help—from the Supreme Court
Retribution! Enter Trump’s scary promises with his “brain the size of a peanut.”
In walks Project 2025. 900 pages of extremism. A template for taking over the government. How many government departments do they want to get rid of? There’s a “Conservative LinkedIn?” Plus an army of future government bureaucrats who hate government.
Trump thinks the radical Left invented “Transgender.” Another conspiracy that will consume the Right. Thanks, Donny!
Oliver listed a bunch of organizations backing Trump. OK, we know they’re ALL probably fake. Maybe? Rodeo Clowns for Trump. Could be real? The Center for ruining Thanksgiving? We believe that one!
Americans for How Zoos Should Let You F*ck Bald Eagles? Genius!
Larry Kudlow excitedly wants the president [Trump] to control Congress’ money—IMPOUNDMENT! Impound their tuchuses off! Tuchuses?
Project 2025 has a great idea. Reclassify thousands of career civil servants—people Trump can’t fire—to political appointees. People he can. And replace them with Trump loyalists who won’t contradict him when he’s wrong. Scratch that. The official position will be whatever comes from Donald Trump.
Cue former government official Russell Vought and Donny Junior’s fiancée, Kimberly Guilfoyle. Woah! What’s with all that eye shadow and the pouty face? Is she listening? “Dead-eyed” Kimmy. Is she there? Sure?
Conservatives have a dating app? What’s worse, they have one or call it, The Right Stuff? Cue Trump images and Right-leaning questions. Rate an insurrection, January 6th was—fill in the blank.
But we digress.
Oliver slams Trumpette John McEntee. A “working fine” Twitter as compared to the U.S. government? BTW, it’s not called Twitter anymore. He does like to post on TikTok while eating—a lot.
Do you want a Trump yes man with no experience in charge of scientific research on nuclear weapons?
Will Trump drive good government employees out and replace them with an Army of suck-ups?
We learned the official position of Last Week Tonight. “You should not vote for Donald Trump not for president, not for the winner of Masked Singer not for anything.”
Warning—Project 2025 will evolve into Project 2029 if they fail this election.
And for those who say we survived Trump once, we’ll do it again. Oliver reminds us not everyone did.
The Daily Show’s Desi Lydec and Ronny Chieng on Indecision 2024.
Talked about down-ballot races. Minnesota U.S Senate GOP candidate Royce White might need to brush up on how to answer questions. The Republican is wearing an “offensive” hat that says WINE spent $1200 of campaign funds at a strip club. No, the campaign funds were for food at a strip club. He then tried to “educate” the interviewer about strip clubs. He first asked him if he’d ever been to a strip club. Then the so-called expert said he’s “gotta go to better strip clubs.” It sounds like White has been to a few.
Lydec called White out for his “offensive” hat which is for “white women only.” My culture is not your costume asshole!
Fudgin’ Donald
Jimmy Kimmel continued with his nickname fest . . . wants to thank Donald Trump aka Harriet Schlubman, aka Fat Albert Einstein, for everything he’s done for the BLACKS! Another shout-out to Gollum-like-Goblin Stephen Miller. He speaks like a lethargic Lex Luthor. The LA guy now has a Southern accent. He sounds a lot like “the sniveling maggot turd” Don Junior.
Jimmy Kimmel Live
Jimmy Fallon wants to know if Donald Trump puts his name on all his buildings so “he can remember where he lives?” But there’s help for Trump and President Biden called Prezagen, the first memory loss pill made specifically for presidents.
The Tonight Show
MSNBC’s Chris Hayes suggested ripping up the entire Interstate highway system is just as bad an idea as Donald Trump’s replacing income tax with tariffs. Seth Meyers jumped in, “Don’t give him ideas!” Cue the New Jersey Turnpike now a fun log flume.
Late Night with Seth Meyers
Republican Florida congressional candidate James Judge who looks like he’s interrupting a wedding reception announced he wants to “suspend the writ of habeas corpus.” So Trump can arrest—everyone!
The Daily Show
The heat is the cause of hard-boiled brain Donald Trump’s word salad who is still obsessed with sharks. And thank the Lord the sharks are not in Wisconsin. The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Is Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz, the son Donald Trump never had . . . sexual misconduct, illicit drugs, improper gifts, special favors, and obstruction.
Late Night with Seth Meyers
Fudgin’ Odd
Chuck Schumer needs a lesson in grilling. Turn on the grill before you put the cheese on the uncooked burger.
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Missouri Secretary of State election probably doesn’t need a flamethrower. Nor does it have any influence on who goes to the Olympics. The Daily Show has a great office for the candidate Valentina Gomez—village idiot.
The Daily Show
Village Idiot Redux. What the heck was former Georgia Prosecutor Nathan Wade thinking? He showed up on The Daily Show. Interviewer Marlon Wayans made him look like an idiot. Think Wade finally realized what a joke this was when he burst out laughing.
The Daily Show
Watergate 2024—Stephen Colbert tackles the tote bag caper.
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Conspiracy of the Week—Bernie Sanders and Fox News
Is Sen. Sanders and Fox Business conspiring against Rupert Murdoch?
Sanders says Americans pay way more for prescription drugs than any other country. And Someone on Fox Business agrees with him? He’s feelin’ the burn. Rupert Murdoch is angrily snapping a didgeridoo in half somewhere in Australia.
Read More about candidates, cooking lessons & Project 2025—
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