Frank Gannucci
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Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Songs & Witty Sayings" & "Letter To The Boss" ('55):
Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Songs & Witty Sayings" & "Letter To The Boss" ('55):
Episode #107 (Syndicated episode #100 & #101)
TV: In two parts.
VCR: Attached to "Norton Moves In." On the rarely seen Readers Digest tape, it is attached to Little Man Who Wasnt There & Suspense.
DVD: Attached to "Norton Moves In" & "Income Tax." On the Restored Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, it is attached to Principal of The Thing, Boys & Girls Together, Letter To The Boss (55 version), Stand-In For Murder (55 version), Double Anniversary Party, The Check-Up & Forgot To Register.
Color Title: Life Upon The Wicked Stsge.
Air Date: Sat. 5/14/55
Ralph meets Ed for lunch near a local manhole. He calls up Norton. The gang down in the sewer is having a birthday party for Alphonse. Ralph doesn't want to come down there (he probably wouldn't be able to fit in the manhole). Ed says that they are organizing the party games now. The first one is: "Knights on Horseback." Let me get this straight. A bunch of grown men are playing birthday party games (something you would normally see a bunch of five-year-olds do) and the first one is a game called: "Knights on Horseback"? Taken out of context, the game sounds really gay. Ralph calls Norton up again, so Ed comes up. Ralph and Norton have entered the annual amateur night at the Halsey Theater, where the grand prize is two hundred dollars. Ed is planning on using his share of the money to go down to Florida to get away from his mother-in-law. Either Ed is stupid for thinking that it costs only $100 to visit Florida or prices were really low back then. Ralph and Ed's act is a comedy act which consists of a mind-reading bit, jokes and a Laurel and Hardy impersonation, and a song-and-dance routine. Ed says that he would like to add another bit. This is something that he has said in war bond rallies, bar mitzvahs etc. Ed says a story that is called: "Our Friends The Animals." The story is so bad for their act that telling that story in the act would guarantee them a trip to the nut house. Ralph and Ed rehearse the mind-reading bit then the jokes. Ralph's first joke is: "What has six legs and sings?" Ed: "Outside of the McGuire sisters, I don't know." I wonder if Mark McGuire is related to them. After Ralph yells at Ed for scaring him (he said that there was a six-legged insect on his sandwich), he clams down. He said that every time he gets Norton for lunch, there is a celebration of some kind down there. Ralph: "If I did that on my job, I would be fired in a minute." Ed: "Who are they going to get to replace us?" A drunken guy comes out of the sewer to an ovation form the crowd. According to Ed, he shows up at every one of their parties.
At home, Ralph finds out that Trixie and Alice have entered in the contest. Alice is a Hawaiian hula girl and Trixie is a sailor. Ralph says that they are rehearsing for The Bellevue Follies. Ralph insults Trixie, so she leaves. Ralph says that Alice doesn't have any talent and in response to the statement that Alice made about her mom not appearing in silent pictures, he said that she didn't appear in silent films because she couldn't keep silent. Ha! Alice goes into the bedroom. Ed finds out about this too when he comes in. Ralph and Ed talk about the girls being involved in the contest. Ed is more understanding since Trixie had been in burlesque, he tells Ralph, and has the tradition of the theater to uphold. Alice is supposed to come out, but Audrey forgets her cue. So Art and Jackie ad-lib. One of the ad-libs is Ed saying that Trixie was the original girl in the Froogle Street sketch. Ed: "She certainly was." Jackie has enough and tells Alice (in his Ralph Kramden character) to come out. Alice says that Ralph is afraid of competition. Ralph makes a bet. If they lose to the girls, Ralph will give her $10 and he will eat her grass skirt. Alice says that they will lose because they have a finish that will wow the crowd. She turns on the record player, does a handstand (with the help of Ed), and sings in Italian to the crowd's approval. I heard that in the Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, that while they were rehearsing this moment, Ray Bloch didn't have any music and he was surprised that Audrey was really going to sing while doing a headstand. Nobody knew that Aud was a soprano except Jackie.
At 1am, Ralph and Ed are rehearsing. The first act is the mind-reading act with Ed in his Swami character. Ralph: "O Swami, what is this that I am holding in my hand. I don't want any ifs, ands or buts." Ed: "Buts. Buts. It is a pack of cigarettes." Ralph: "Don't say 'buts.' The crowd will think that there is some sort of trick to this." Ed suggests doing something called: "Sockerroonie" (sp?). So he dresses up as Ray Bloch and asks Ralph to guess who he is. They rehearse their song-and-dance act, and Alice and Garrity, are anything but a captive audience. Ralph argues with Alice by saying that she isn't behind him and asks her what he has behind him, but then he realizes he set himself up for Alice to say that he has a big butt, so he yells: DON'T YOU DARE! After that, Ralph and Ed rehearse the "restaurant sketch." Ralph: "I'm glad I don't have anything to do with you (Ed) to often." Gee, that doesn't seem to be true. Norton does a Stan Laurel impersonation as a customer who wants a piece of custard pie, and Ralph plays the waiter a la Oliver Hardy, is a priceless tribute by Carney and Gleason to the two great funny men. Ralph wants to rehearse every bit of the scene (which includes hitting Ed in the face with a pie). Ed says he doesn't want the pie in the face, but Ralph says for him to roll with the flow. Question: Why does Ralph want to hit Ed in the face with a pie in rehearsal, when he can hit him once in the face during their live act? Ed obliges, but ducks and Alice (who was coming in) gets the pie.
At the Halsey Theater, the host says that this is their 23rd annual show and has "introduced" to the entertainment world such people as John Cameron Swayze (sp?). I think that that guy is the dad of Patrick Swayze. The first act is a flop (it was done by a delivery boy.) Alice and Trixie wow them (but they didn't do their finale.) When you watch the girls doing their act, you can tell that by looking on their faces that they are knowing that in reality they weren't doing to well while performing this (despite the men hollering things like: "I CAN'T SAND IT! YOU'RE WONDERFUL!") Ralph and Ed do their first bit and puts Ralph puts on the blindfold on Ed (who is in his Swami outfit), he flashes his hand in his face. Ed: "I can't see anything, except for the hand that is in my face." Ralph "tightens" it. Norton can't even guess the first object in the mind-reading routine, Ralph bombs as a stand up comic, and the song and dance is a dismal flop (in the middle of it, Ed reads a poem that bombs) and at the end a hook grabs Ed and Ralph but the left hook grabs Ralph (who was on the right of the stage) and the other hook grabs Ed (who was on the left of the stage). Funny ending.
At home, Ralph and Ed are upset. Ralph: "After tonight, the manager says he won't even let me in to see the movie anymore." Alice and Trixie come in with Chinese food (they won the contest.) Ralph (to the girls): "Don't rub it in. You are both in danger if you try." Trixie (sarcastically): "The boys are good losers." She said that even though Ed, in this scene, didn't complain once. Alice reminds Ralph of the fact that Ralph said he would eat her grass skirt. Ed: "Want some soy sauce on it Ralph?" Ralph (yells to Ed and Trixie): "GET OUT!" Despite them getting kicked out, Alice remains happy.
On the Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, we see the curtain call. Jackie comes out and introduces the main cast. He also says that we had the honor of seeing Audrey getting pied for the first time in her life. He than says goodnight.
Episode #108
TV: Only shown once on TV.
DVD: Attached to Boys & Girls Together, Principle of The Thing, Songs & Witty Sayings, Stand-In For Murder (55 version), Double Anniversary Party, The Check-Up & Forgot To Register.
Color Title: To Whomever It May Concern.
Air Date: Sat. 5/21/55
Alice is home and Trixie stops by to borrow a cup. Alice is taking out the right sleeves in Ralph's underwear. His right arm gets hot in the bus. His left one doesn't, because that's the arm he puts out the window. After Alice and Trixie make plans, Trixie leaves. Ralph come home and says that he's not hungry because he's just been fired from the bus company after ten years. Ralph complains about all the inconveniences he had to put up with as a driver like drunks trying to get on the bus without paying, old women yelling at him etc. Alice: "Don't worry Ralph. You'll get another job." Ralph: "Sure, I will but not a good one like this one." Ha! He also brings up some job ads listed in the paper, but they are all for women. Alice: "Swell. That will take care for tonight, but what about tomorrow?" Ha! Ralph says that they will have to change their style of living and move out of here into a cheaper apartment and sell this furniture and get some second-hand stuff. Ha!
Ralph mentions that they should live with Alice's parents for the time being but Alice nixes that idea. Ralph mentions that he only quit school during the sixth grade. It would have been worse if he continued his schooling because it would be embarrassing if he, as a college graduate, being fired from a bus company. Ed Norton comes down, expecting to go bowling. Ralph says that he lost his job. Ed tries to cheer Ralph up, but only makes Ralph feel worse. Ralph hits on the idea that he will write a nasty letter to Mr. J.J. Marshall. Alice objects but her opinion falls on deaf ears. Ralph tells Norton to write what Ralph says. Here is the letter:
"Dear Mr. Marshall:
You dirty bum! You are a miserable low-life. You ought to turn in your membership card to the human race. After nine years of loyal service, I can truthfully say that you are the world's meanest man. You dirty bum!"
MPI Video says that this is a classic Kramden letter. Honeymooners.net said that the line of: "You dirty bum!" is delivered with such conviction that it looks like Ralph invented the insult for the occasion. This should to be shown to every getting a job-related class under the heading: "What not to write to your boss after you get fired." Both claims are probably correct. Ralph: "Sign it! Respectfully yours: Etc. Etc.'" Ed puts down S.W.A.K. on the letter which means Sealed With A Kiss. Ha! Ed goes out to mail the letter and says that he could get Ralph a job in the sewer. All he has to do is pass the floating test. Ha! Ed leaves. Ralph says to Alice that he used to get little kids on the bus and that he would let them pretend that they are driving the bus. Ralph: "Wait a minute! It's probably one of those brats that is taking my job." Freddie Muller comes by and says that Ralph hasn't been fired, but promoted. Ralph leaves to go get Ed before he mails the letter but not before he accidentally hits himself by walking into the door. Ha!
At the bowling alley, Ed fools around the custodian. He says that since he forgot to mail the letter and asks the custodian to mail it. What does the custodian get in return? Advice from Ed which is always look before you cross the street. Ha! Ralph comes in and finds out that his letter has been mailed and is worried that he will be really fired. Ed: "If he fires, you, send him another nasty letter." Ha! Ed is wearing his traditional Ed Norton outfit. Ralph says that a person like Mr. Marshall has buttons. One button so a secretary can come in with water. Another one in which a secretary comes in with mail. Ed: Who wants that job? I will settle for those buttons. Ralph hatches a plan to get the letter out of the mailbox. Ed: "What do I get in return?" Ralph: "That's a very selfish thing to say after what I did for you. Remember that race last year? You needed money to bet on that horse." Ed: "You didn't give me the money?" Ralph: "Yeah, the horse lost didn't he?" The policeman hears their plan. Ralph and Ed lie to him saying that they are rehearsing for a play. Ed (to the policeman): "Remember that 3rd grade class play and you were a tree?" Ralph says that he will give the policeman tickets. He leaves. Ed says that they have to get his address so they can send him the tickets. Ralph: "Only I have got a bosom friend like this."
They go outside to get the letter out of the mailbox. Ralph tells Ed to keep a look out in case someone comes by. Ed: "If you are worried about people seeing you getting a letter out of there, how do you think they will react when they see you climbing into it?" Ralph tries to get the letter out, but Ed says that someone is coming and scars Ralph and in the process, Jackie accidentally falls backward into the obviously fake background that was nothing more than sheets. Ed says that he was just practicing. Jackie covers for the blooper by saying: What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack or something? For a while there, everything started to swim. The crowd applauds. Ed examines the problem and ahs a solution which is he cant get the ladder out. They try to pick up the mailbox and shake it. A mailman comes by. Ralph tries to cover it up. Ralph says that he has a letter in there and he needs the mailman to get it out. The mailman says that he cant. The mailman gets the mail out of the box and the custodian comes by and says that he just gave the letter that Ed gave him to the mailman.
The next day, Ralph tries to get the letter before his boss reads it. I guess the mail travels fast on the Honeymooners. He fails and the boss reads Ralph's letter. He doesn't mind the insults because he always gets them but becomes mad when the author didn't sign his name. Ralph happily faints. I put mad in quotes because I dont think the actor sounded mad when he found out that the author didnt sign his name. The part about Mr. Marshall being mad about the author not signing his name was written in the description of the 1953 version.
At home, Ralph plans to go to the Royal Chinese Gardens and explains Alice the good news. Ed comes down. Ralph: If you Ed were any prettier, I would kiss you. Ed explains the fact that he went down and said Ralph didn't mean all of those insults that he wrote in the letter. He felt he had to do it out of niceness. Ed says that Mr. Marshall wants to see Ralph first thing in the morning. Ed: "Whenever you are in trouble, Ed Norton lives upstairs." Ralph faints.
Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.
